Are you thinking about having a baby? Well, don't read this book

Kidding aside, read this book. In an age of conspiracy theories, social media deep fakes, political spin, and total uncertainty, Surviving Babies and Toddlers grounds readers in truthful Parenting Reality.

In this witty, down-to-earth memoir, author Joel Houston, with the full support of his beleaguered wife, Katie, helps wannabe parents wake up from romanticized dreams of parenting bliss. He leads us into the trenches of raising children, where we learn about the "horror movie" of birth; diaper-loving dogs; awful fashion pageants; knife-wielding toddlers; and how far a baby's projectile vomit can travel. (Far.)

And yet, Houston never leads us to despair. Despite the daily struggle of raising babies and toddlers, the author helps us see that children and family are the most important things in life.

This book is for:

• anyone who aspires to have children and wants to know about Reality
• new parents searching for survival tactics (e.g. join a mothers-only Red Wine Therapy group)
• empty-nester parents trying to understand why they no longer have strength or soul but still miss the kids