{"product_id":"zeus-grants-stupid-wishes-a-no-bullshit-guide-to-world-mythology-9780399160400","title":"Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology","description":"\u003cb\u003eFrom the creator of Myths Retold comes a hilarious collection of Greek, Norse, Chinese and even Sumerian myths retold in their purest, bawdiest forms \u003c\/b\u003e \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eAll our lives, we've been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified...wait, it all makes sense now. In \u003ci\u003eZeus Grants Stupid Wishes, \u003c\/i\u003e Cory O'Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD , sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ci\u003eDid you know?\u003c\/i\u003e \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eCronus liked to eat babies. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eNarcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eOdin got construction discounts with bestiality. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eIsis had bad taste in jewelry. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eGanesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eAnd Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eStill skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e- Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e- The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e- The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties...on the corpses of their enemies. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e- The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eAnd there's more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBinding Type:\u003c\/b\u003e Paperback\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublisher:\u003c\/b\u003e Tarcherperigee\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublished:\u003c\/b\u003e 03\/05\/2013\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN:\u003c\/b\u003e 9780399160400\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePages:\u003c\/b\u003e 289\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWeight:\u003c\/b\u003e 0.55lbs\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSize:\u003c\/b\u003e 7.90h x 4.40w x 0.70d","brand":"Cory O'Brien","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":36637021044892,"sku":"9780399160400","price":14.45,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0473\/0804\/6492\/products\/img_7d445c3a-6e2b-41cc-a052-cd802662f03f.jpg?v=1603843664","url":"https:\/\/pastforward.org\/products\/zeus-grants-stupid-wishes-a-no-bullshit-guide-to-world-mythology-9780399160400","provider":"Past Forward","version":"1.0","type":"link"}