{"product_id":"how-to-be-an-ex-footballer-9781529106602","title":"How to Be an Ex-Footballer","description":"\u003cb\u003eThe first truly insider guide to being a Premiership\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e footballer, from Britain's funniest sporting icon\u003c\/b\u003e \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eVery funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' -\u003ci\u003eSunday Times\u003c\/i\u003e \u003cbr\u003e'The funniest man in British sport' -\u003ci\u003e Metro\u003c\/i\u003e \u003cbr\u003e**ASunday TimesSports Book of the Year****Shortlisted for the National Book Awards****Longlisted for theTelegraphSports Book Awards Autobiography of the Year** \u003cbr\u003eYou become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate. \u003cbr\u003eSo walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror. \u003cbr\u003eWe will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay  250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions. \u003cbr\u003eI am Peter Crouch. This isHow To Be A Footballer. Shall we?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBinding Type:\u003c\/b\u003e Paperback\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublisher:\u003c\/b\u003e Ebury Press\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublished:\u003c\/b\u003e 08\/29\/2023\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN:\u003c\/b\u003e 9781529106602\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePages:\u003c\/b\u003e 304\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWeight:\u003c\/b\u003e 0.48lbs\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSize:\u003c\/b\u003e 7.72h x 4.88w x 0.87d","brand":"Peter Crouch","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52161318453429,"sku":"9781529106602","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0473\/0804\/6492\/files\/img_ee30813f-4897-4809-9d3a-1444fd15ce6d.jpg?v=1768317828","url":"https:\/\/pastforward.org\/products\/how-to-be-an-ex-footballer-9781529106602","provider":"Past Forward","version":"1.0","type":"link"}