{"product_id":"ho-ho-homicidal-maniac-9781914921926","title":"Ho Ho Homicidal Maniac","description":"\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"I love Christmas. So every year, I kill someone. As a treat.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNico\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHave you ever fallen in love with a man as he was pointing his gun at you? Well, I have. Tiny problem? I'm in the middle of my murderous Christmas tradition, and he's a witness.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut it's not his fault I got too excited and didn't check if I was alone. I can't just kill him because of my own blunder. Not when he has such dreamy green eyes filled with fear and pent-up rage.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat I can do is take him with me for safekeeping while I work out how to make him understand that while my methods are cruel, my intentions are pure.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOr how to make him fall for me.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhichever is first.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBlake\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy eighteenth birthday was supposed to be the happiest day of my sheltered life. Finally, I would gain independence and inherit half my family fortune. Instead, I ended up kidnapped.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI was about to get carved into pieces when... a Christmas miracle in the form of a beefy homicidal maniac saved me.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOnly now I'm trapped in his basement and getting love bombed by a psycho golden retriever. He eats turkey sandwiches for every breakfast, enjoys making festive ornaments out of human teeth, and lets his violent urges shine like a Christmas tree.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI shouldn't find him hot.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI shouldn't want to indulge his murderous tendencies.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd I definitely shouldn't want him to be my first.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut I'm being hunted and might just need a monster to keep me safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e(And he does actually make really good fruitcake)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBinding Type:\u003c\/b\u003e Paperback\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublisher:\u003c\/b\u003e Acerbi \u0026amp; Villani Ltd\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublished:\u003c\/b\u003e 10\/23\/2025\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN:\u003c\/b\u003e 9781914921926\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePages:\u003c\/b\u003e 302\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWeight:\u003c\/b\u003e 0.66lbs\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSize:\u003c\/b\u003e 8.00h x 5.00w x 0.68d","brand":"K. a. Merikan","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52085820784821,"sku":"9781914921926","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0473\/0804\/6492\/files\/img_ab4e5aca-2143-4e64-8227-89201017def1.jpg?v=1765295305","url":"https:\/\/pastforward.org\/products\/ho-ho-homicidal-maniac-9781914921926","provider":"Past Forward","version":"1.0","type":"link"}